***THE ROMANIAN WEDDING EXPERIENCE***

It seems like so long ago now when we first arrived in Romania. I had great hopes that I would be able to home school my two children with all of the resources I had brought with me from Canada but reality bit me like a rabid squirrel. We arrived in April and by the end of May I wanted to put my head through a plate glass window, stick needles in my eyes or smack myself over the head with a rubber mallet. All three combined would have been less painful then to try to motivate my little girl to sit at a dining room table and learn how to read, add and subtract. Add the fact that I had a 10 month who wanted my attention all the time and Gabrielle who wanted to do all the same work as Evelyn but for her age category, I was sunk.




In comes Andreea Cujba. My saviour, friend and the girls’ new home school teacher. Referred to me from a man I met on the street that I heard speaking French, (yes I was desperate but no one was helping me find anything in Roman) we met and she started the next day. Immediately a schedule was formulated, we were organized with resources from my parents and we were off. Andreea came every weekday after she finished teaching at the local school and would spend 2 solid hours with my kids. They worked on language, reading and mathematics (all in French) so that the kids would not fall behind in school. Andreea quickly figured out how to motivate my little lovelies and I was able to keep Ruby busy whilst they learned. It was an ideal set up in a less than ideal living situation.


After working for us for 7 months, Andreea grew to be a part of our family. One of my paid friends as David would say. When Andreea told me of her engagement and upcoming wedding I was really hoping we might get an invite. This was one of the customs that I did not want to miss in Romania. In November of 2009, Andreea asked me if our family would like to attend her wedding (if we were to be in Romania) next July. I happily agreed and the seed was planted.


When I returned to Romania from our winter in Canada, Andreea’s wedding was immediately written on the calendar. A bonus of course by attending the wedding is the chance to see the people I had come to know in Roman again. Like Alexandra (Ruby’s babysitter) and Maria (my housecleaner) both of whom were terrific friends to me. I would also have the chance to see Nelly and Sachin (the Romanian Coq Questioner (see June 2009 blog)). So we bought ourselves some new dresses and made our made to Roman.


Travelling to Roman from Galati is a 200km drive and takes about 3.5 hours. It’s a real killer for me. The fact that it takes so long to do such a short distance on what is really a flat and straight drive makes driving anywhere painful. All “highways” (and I use that term loosely) go through the local towns where we must slow to a crippling speed of 50 km per hour or risk being stopped by police for travelling even 5 km over the speed limit and being forced to pay him off. Urgh!


We arrived in Roman and met up with our friends Nelly and Sachin for our favourite pizza lunch at Hera. I really liked all their food while we lived in Roman and missed the secret pizza sauce they used. Always a fun time visiting with these two. We talked shop, talked history, talked future and roared with laughter often. But when it was all said and done it was time to get ready for the big event.

The girls couldn’t have been more excited to don their pretty pink dresses.

To top it off I let them wear lipstick in public and they thought they were the bee’s knees.

They were all very pretty. But in the end, it was Andreea that was the real beauty.

Andreea had arranged for us to meet up with a friend of hers who lives in Toronto now but was in Roman for the wedding. Lia was a kind and informative guide who let me in on all the traditions that occurred and explained their significance. When we walked up to the church, Andreea and her future husband Costel were walking out. There was a big reunion hug and kisses but all along I was wondering if I had missed the ceremony. Not at all.

In Orthodox religion, the couple go to the city hall together and get married by a notary who gives them all their important documents to declare them wed. Then the couple comes to the church and a religious ceremony takes place. Andreea informed me that we were simply waiting for the priest. So it was a good time for some photos.


The ceremony took place in a small Armenian Orthodox Church. The church was heavily decorated with gold plated everything, large paintings and sculptures.

It smelled of Frankincense but not in an over powering way. There were no pews, no chairs only a few built in seats along the walls of either side of the church. When the priest arrived and donned his wedding attire, he began to sing.

He had the strongest tenor voice I’ve ever heard from a priest.

I saw the girl’s jumps back when he began. So everyone came into the church including the couple. There was no walk down the aisle, no music accompaniment, no hand over of the bride to the groom. In fact everyone seemed to be very casually looking around, chatting and finding a place to stand. There were no more than 25 people in the church observing the nuptials. Small wedding, I thought to myself. People were dressed very informally and not like I had been told. I was told that people dress up in their fanciest of fancies for weddings but it was not holding true at this wedding. Even the videographer had jeans on! This is when Lia informs me that the ceremony will be at least 1 hour in length. Remember the part about there being no chairs! I didn’t mention this but it was also 35 degrees outside with high humidity! So I found 2 spots for the girls to sit along the wall and Lia and I took off to the front of the church to get some photos. People were standing all around the couple and even on what I would consider to be the altar.

The mood of the wedding was serious, the bride and grooms face were still and solemn but I had no idea what was being said.

 Romanians have very strong ties to their religion and take it very seriously. When Ceausescu was in power he closed all the churches in the country and illegalized religion. The ceremony was beautiful and meaningful in the end.  I especially loved when the priest paraded the bride and groom and wedding party around the altar to annouce their marriage.

Once the wedding was all done, we made our way to the hotel where the party would be held. The hotel was called the Mariko and for Roman standards it was pretty nice. Luckily we ended up on the 4th floor. We had been warned that Romanian weddings are wild and crazy parties that go on until 5 or 6 am. Oh my gosh! I’ll never make it! We Canadians are used to our bars closing at 2 am which means crawl back home and go to bed. Bars here are open 24 hours a day and 7 days per week. As such, people here have endurance, stamina and most of all they can hold their booze!  We had a few hours to kill so we went into the gardens and snapped some pics of our little beauties. 

Poor little Gabrielle had a bug bite on the left cheek the day before the wedding and ended up quite swollen.  It was very sore for her but it didn't stop her from posing! 

Evelyn loved the garden.  I could see she might have a big of little Grandma's green thumb! 

Ruby couldn't keep he nose out of the roses.  If there's one thing these Romanians do well, it's roses.  They are beautiful here and last forever!


The hall was beautifully set up and decorated and could be compared to a very high priced wedding in Canada. The decor was mainly lavender but had many other pretty pastels on the table and center pieces. The bride and groom greeted everyone at the front door with a glass of champagne and a lady finder biscuit. This is a traditional greeting. Then the maid of honour pins a small white flower over our left breast to welcome us. The table was enormous and was set for 12 people. Each table had a waiter who offered you whiskey, polenca and wine as soon as you sat down. The table was full of food as soon as we arrived but that doesn’t compare to the food that was to come. Dancing started around 9:30pm with the first dance. There was a live band with two wonderfully talented singers. After the first dance everyone joined in and for the rest of the night people were up dancing in circle almost nonstop. David and I wondered if they ever got bored of going around and around like that but they seemed to enjoy themselves more and more as the evening wore on. The first course was a veggie, cheese and meat plate served with more wine at 10:20pm. Then at 11:30pm the second course was served which was a stuffed chicken breast served with lettuce salad and cabbage salad. It was delicious! The kids didn’t see the second course however as they were so tired. Ruby and Gabrielle crumped at 10:45pm and Evelyn made it to 11:20pm. Due to the whiskey, polenca and wine, David and I were completely inebriated by 10:30pm. I had a very hard time putting Ruby to bed without falling into the wall. As it was I lost my shoes and had to wear my backups after putting the kids to bed. I couldn’t get up and dance because my head was spinning. Everything David was saying was making me laugh my ass off and I could feel my nose going as red as my Irish grandfather’s after he had had one too many whiskey. We ended up packing it in at 2:00am much to Andreea’s disappointment. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open much longer. I’m not made to drink and stay awake. I fall asleep if I drink. It’s terrible but true. I could only do it if I had coffee all night. Not to mention the fact I have to wake up with the kids and drive 3.5 hours back to Galati without yakking all over the car. We had a lovely time at the wedding and were very glad we were invited. Andreea and Costel are some of the classiest Romanians I know and I am glad I had the chance to witness their special day.


The next morning brought rain and cool weather. We went to Bacau to visit Ruby’s old babysitter and my friend, Alexandra. Alexandra has a little girl who is 1 year younger than Ruby so I brought all Ruby’s old clothes for little Daria. She is not that small however so I think her time in these clothes is limited. We had a great visit at Alexandra’s apartment with little Daria and Alex’s husband Ionut. Ionut is a full timer in the Romanian army. He is trained as a medic and does continuous training exercises. The government here in Romania, in efforts to save money and pay down their debt, have cut all public service workers pay by a whopping 25%. That’s all the Army, teachers, nurses, doctors, police and city employees. They have all lost 25% of their income!!! UNBELIEVABLE! Can you imagine if this ever happened in Canada!? Ionut used to earn 1200 Leu per month which is about $430 per month! Now, as a result of the cutback, he earns only 900 Leu or $310 per month. Alexandra hasn’t worked since I moved away so this has left them in a terrible situation. Alexandra is looking into going to Italy for work so that she could send money back to support her baby. Trouble is, she has to leave her Daria and her husband. She would only see them at Christmas and in August but Alexandra doesn’t think there is much choice. Unemployment is at a record high so going to take care of an elderly person in Italy is the only way to make ends meet. What a horrible position to be in. I wonder how many people in the world, especially the western world, know how hard life is in the rest of the world.


God help them.


Alison xx